Some thoughts on being social

Being social is an element of being human that we cannot escape, any more readily than we may our opposable thumbs.

Parties provide an excellent framework for true socializing to occur, and be practiced. I define true socializing as maintaining presence and engaging all the senses along with at least one other person for a duration of time.

What true socializing is not: binge drinking or drugging episodes. These are numbing and distracting actions that may be under the promise of true socializing, but are actually the opposite of maintaining presence and engaging all the senses.

Numbing and distracting has its place in society no doubt, but there is no sense in calling it something it is not.

Like, there are fruits and vegetables in the world, and arguably you need both in your diet for some semblance of health. Choosing to leave vegetables out of your diet is one thing, but going around telling people the fruits you are eating are vegetables, is another thing entirely. Or worse, telling someone the fruits you are feeding them are vegetables.

Remember that misery loves company, and so it is not too personal when these things happen.

If you become setback in your true socializing diet, let it go, and try again.

Social media. It is helpful to think of it. To turn it over and feel of it. The nature is a reflection or a symptom of our lives, and not the thing itself. We may read-in to a picture or a post and relate ourselves to it, but the fact of the matter is that we are dealing without all our sense engaged, so how well can we determine how well in fact we relate to these things?

Also, who the fuck cares? If a picture or a post doesn’t have a remarkable impact on you, it doesn’t matter how great everybody thinks it is, or whether it was photoshopped or not.

Consider your return on your investment, spending your time in front of a screen instead of truly socializing. You may have a smart investment if you own a small to medium-sized business and want to get the word out in mass. Still, don’t lose sight of the prize.

The allure of staying behind a screen is getting the fringe benefits of a sustainable connection that true socializing provides without having to do any of the work. When you start to feel bored and baseless within your person, it is a sign that something is the matter, and also, that you are free to work on figuring out a new way about yourself and your time.

If you want to find out how what you spend your time on is affecting you, try just one thing for awhile, see how you feel, and then believe your feelings. Less is more. The proof is in the putting. (I am a bottomless pit of one-liners.)

Social media lacks the benefits that in-person, party socializing provides, and most people don’t stop to see their role in their experience. Instead, they treat their experience like just the next thing in front of them that has to get done. This is not taking responsibility, and is sucky in the long-term.

Furthermore, taking responsibility is required to create anything remarkable. As long as we live, we are creating. It is the what that is the question you can answer.

Try going without socializing, and then going with socializing, at regular intervals to have any stake in the full human benefit. When it comes to what matters, you get what you give.Try getting in touch with what is important to you at a basic level so you will be of super substance to share.

Spending time on a regular basis getting to know what you love, and especially what you don’t despite what you are good at, is an ongoing process. Our current culture promotes doing over just being.  While culture changes over time, our individual lives are short, so try just being now while the gettin’s good.

I can feel the collective nervousness of people considering not doing…their ego voices hollering and jeering with self-defeating sentiments. What we know is being alone is independent of feelings, including that of the popular association of being alone, with feelings of loneliness.

Being alone and just being (allowing a moment to unfold on its own without the shit you may be tempted to throw into it) is really good for you.

Try breathing as deep into your person as your drive to do, do, do is, and you may very well experience your best self, and so others’ too.

Be well, socialize.


“The purpose of life is not to win. The purpose of life is to grow and to share. When you come to look back on all that you have done in life, you will get more satisfaction from the pleasure you brought to other people’s lives than you will from the times that you outdid and defeated them.” ~ Harold Kushner

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