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Study-Cum-Dance Hall

Old Boar

Brazen detention of sorts. Piped loud music and chinese takeout into a long hall with low ceilings, chock-full of antiques, stuffed with couches and chairs ripe for the kibitzing. Games included people bingo (where you collect a lesser know fact about each guest and place at random on a bingo card) so guests must find out who ‘won the seattle marathon’ for instance which gives rise to a connection each time a bingo square is mastered. What happens is these connections fill-up the place with the buzz of your dreams in no time flat. An icebreaker is paramount to any mixer going off without a hitch. For everything else there is the taxi and the sleepover. Be a good host and see your guests to and through your event carefully so they may readily, steadily party again.

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Philosophy

5 Ways To Not Sweat It

Planning gets people feeling all the feels. In one moment nothing is together, and then in the next moment everything is together, and that sliver in between seems more like a dagger, and one that could go either way, killin’ it or killin’ you!

Here are 5 ways to keep cool and not sweat yourself into a funk before your festivity:

1. Keep hold of the positive perspective that brought you into this in the first place.

Don’t let your vision die because uncertainty is spooling-up doubt. If you are doing it right, things ought to feel uncomfortable. Learning is uncomfortable and mastery is the prize.

There are times when you applied this positive perspective before and it led to amazeballs results, remember? Believe it now, and again. If you don’t believe it, who will?

2. Take one thing at a time.

If ever there was a time that you would consider giving your right arm to quit your plan, it is when you have let a list of to do’s, each sing their own chorus of uncertainty in unison, play like a broken record in your head.  The song is unbearable and the thought of quitting your plan entirely, and the relief it will provide, is more palatable to you in that moment than, well, the benefits of retaining your right arm.

Stop the song. Take just one thing, and see it through.  Map it out, assign it, deadline date it–take it’s power over you, away.  See how smart you feel when you commit to taking one thing at a time.

3. Have no fear.

A perspective: The way is not to avoid failure. The way is to fail often and faster. Sounds nutty right? Let me explain. When you try to avoid failure as your main purpose, you get further invested in things that may fail regardless, and then it sucks more because it takes you longer to recover. And you are delayed in trying a new way, if you try again at all. Getting stuck in pain, self-loathing, and shame is real.

When you accept failure as a good sign–that you are applying yourself, putting yourself out there to face challenges that will bring you to a new level of awareness–you are free to keep trying things to realize your vision.

4. Plan B & C and, possibly, D, E, F, G…

This is the hardest step for me (and anyone else feeling particularly stubborn). To cling to the details you started with, is to potentially miss the point of the festivity, and puts you at high-risk of quitting and not realizing the event at all. Which is the ultimate shame!

It is like a child throwing a fit, and the parent losing their shit, and the whole afternoon being ruined. When really, it could have been a nice time if the parent just let the kid-fit blow over.

So, make a list of other options before you are thrown into having to consider other options by surprise.  This way you will be in a better place to see the virtue of other options, and feel sane sliding into other options to save the day. There are always other ways but not more time to do them, which brings me to my final point.

5. It ain’t over until the fat lady sings.

One thing is for certain, you will run out of time. Therein is relief, ultimately.  Until then, keep your mind and body about progress. Don’t quit because the quitting will come for you before you are ready. This is your time–to learn, to grow, to take care, to maintain, to feel all the feels. Make your plans and festivities happen, one way or another, you have only to lose the experiences you forgo creating.

If you have other ways of not sweating it, please share in the comments section.  I look forward to hearing what works for you!

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2 Volkswagen Vanagons, 1 camp site, 10 people and a guitar. The challenge was to create an intimate social gathering within a public campsite. The solution was to corral the vans, pop the tent tops, park them parallel with sliding doors open–creating social space between and within the vans. Served traditional camp foods, plattered along with a single tray of Mai Tais to start, each just short of plastering. Bubbly to finish. All under the tin twinkle of a few string lights under battery-power. Effortlessly we glow camping.

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Themes

Van Parity

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Philosophy

In Service To

What keeps us from life satisfaction? There are many theories. The one I posit regards a giving of yourself to a cause beyond the sole purpose of benefitting just yourself. It is to be incredibly vulnerable, and to empathize with the incredible vulnerability of another by taking action. Action! What we find when we stick our necks out, to give to others what we also need ourselves, is an eventual rush of collaborators in kind. To find community in this way is one of the joys of life, and it can also be a way of life! I urge you take action to stand for the kind of world you want to live in, not only to bring sustainable satisfaction to your life, but for the effect it has of drawing others into confidence to stand for others, too. Today.

Here is just one example for your consideration, something you may model and/or participate in this week:

Leave Them: Un-Silencing Victims of Sexual Assault

100% of the funding raised from ticket sales, mercy sales and donations is going into this project: a music video serving as a PSA/social justice piece giving voice to the silent victims of sexual abuse. Two solo shows to fund the project happening May 21 – living room on Pleasant Beach Drive and June 3 – store on Madison Avenue.

What are you creating now?

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40 guests, 1 band, and 1 vision to share. Farmhouse living room setup for concert viewing, and social. We did it! You can do it, too. Take action at your first instinct to share what you have, ask for help, and prepare to be delighted.

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“Communication is merely an exchange of information, but connection is an exchange of our humanity.” ~Sean Stephenson
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Living Room Concert

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Philosophy

Row with your muse

It is shocking.

I decided long ago that I would use my energy to love, to understand, to build collective consciousness, and none of it to fight. I learned much later that I could also let go of what I loved, understood, and helped build, that in fact it would be taken away from me regardless and eventually. Also, if I found my energy to be alone in the endeavor, it was likely I was persuaded by Ego missives to stay in that limiting place. One’s calling is beyond the furling captivation of Ego and so to take a leap quiet from it makes sense. I came to believe that if I could soar to greater heights in love and understanding, then the whole world could, too. Where at once it is all about me, and not about me at all.

My goal in any relationship (i.e. professional, familial, romantic) is to maintain a mutuality of holding one another up to the light, from within a shelter from the storm. A relationship where even one person busts things up within the shelter, is not a relationship for me. I have walked through the fire many times to learn these lessons. There will be other fires to walk through, and I am not afraid. When I keep aligned with my purpose, I am never lost or alone. I have given up hope of a better past, and therein lies forgiveness. Once the seal of resistance is broken, forgiveness flows like a mighty river. It’s a process to keep the flow going. This is work.

All the best with your work today.
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